It can at times be tough to navigate. Before you take the plunge of attempting to slide into the next girls’ DM, ask yourself this question. Am I constantly sending corny one liners, moronic greetings
There are some basic rules you may want to follow to avoid being lumped into the mix with these unfortunates. They are simple, common sense guidelines to follow that will help you achieve more of what you’re looking for. Ex. engagement, views, likes, messages and more dates!
In this article, I’m giving you the ultimate female insider information you’ve been lacking. Ok, so pen and paper ready kids, here we go!
Stating the OBVIOUS
If a girl is even remotely attractive, chances are her inbox is flooding with hundreds of messages per day! (No BS, she could be a solid 4 at best and I guarantee you her inbox is still blowing up!) Here’s the deal. When it comes to a girls inbox, she’s simply skimming it until she either sees something she likes or finds an opening statement that actually catches her attention. If you want to actually get her attention with your words, do yourself a favor and stop sending the same corny message every other guy on the planet is sending them!
The thing is guys, most ladies who are online are (*GASP*) ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR SOMEONE! But guess what? They’re looking for someone that isn’t just like every other guy they’ve dated time and time again. So you’re gonna need to stand out! What does this mean and how do you do it? (Or in some cases what you should stop doing)
Stand Out In The Crowd
There are lots of ways to make your profile and messages stand out from the others that don’t include you having to write your life story or expose yourself. (Leave some things for the first few dates would ya?) Here are a few approaches that tend to be highly successful for getting a positive response.
1) Choose a profile pic that sends the right message. You’re looking for a date that wants to hang out with you, not your boys so leave them out of the picture! Besides that, its just going to confuse them on which one is actually you! You also might want to crop out any female friends from pictures and this is including your sister if shes attractive! (don’t let them accidentally see a ponytail or skinny elbow in the picture, that is practically shark bait lol ) Not because all women are crazy (debatable) some just like to fantasize that they are already the center of your friggin’ universe even though you haven’t met! To be fair, I mean, wouldn’t you wonder why some girl has a guy with her in HER profile picture? Honestly! Unless its her Dad or something, but even then you’d be scared he was checking her inbox too since he’s in the picture right? haha
2) Have a good tag line on your profile! This is important so PAY ATTENTION! Unless you’re a solid 10 and have the abs of Ryan Gosling, your tag line better be good! I can assure you that once she’s swiped right, she’s going over your profile with a fine toothed comb like a CIA operative, and it starts with your own self description! Forget the whole ” I like long walks on the beach, candle lit dinners and romantic comedies” garbage. That just SCREAMS CONTRIVED! Be yourself, be honest, but also be your own hype man. Why? Because you ARE awesome. Be funny if you want to! But most importantly be honest and true to who YOU are. This might deter a few hopefuls, but at least you’re attracting the type of girl that is looking for exactly what you’re offering. This will ultimately increase your chances of online success. Ex. Vaughan: Single Dad, Successful smart ass, and freakishly large gym rat who likes romantic walks to the liquor store. Seems pretty basic and blah to you right? Maybe, but this sentence tells a girl pretty much all she needs to know about him. He clearly has a child, is claiming his success, has a sense of humor and likes a good party when he’s not working and its his weekend to be childfree. Pretty cut and dry but very telling. For the most part, women are just looking to be informed and are checking for red flags during this process. Most of them are looking at you as an investment not a rental property. (The ones that are doing the latter are on a completely different site)
3) You could start by actually taking the time to read her profile and find out what she’s interested in! Try to find something that you have in common with her and work that angle. Ex. You see that she is into action movies. Tell her about the most recent (and relevant to what is in theaters) action movie you saw and how she should check it out! Might seem lame to you, but to her, you’re coming off as a guy who gives a toss and is actually paying attention! (Insider tip: If you don’t feel like taking the time to read through all these profiles, just pick out your wingman and activate them. He/She will do the work for you!)
4) Oddly enough being funny actually works! Women love a guy who can make them laugh just by being their authentic self. So let the joke cracking begin! Ex: “So do you like your toilet paper facing over or under?” (trust me she has a preference) While it seems unconventional, and she might initially think “What the???” there’s gonna be a few hotties that bite on a message like that just because it was funny! I know I would and have!
5) Still struggling with finding something to say, are shy, or maybe even intimidated? YOU are exactly why we created IceBreaker! You probably thought it was to be a deterrent but you’re wrong! It is meant for this very situation, to help take the pressure off! You can always discuss the answers you gave for the game. She’s already shown you she’s somewhat interested by agreeing to even play so you’re halfway there! Why not find out what her answers were by mentioning one of the questions you both answered! See, you’re already chatting now and nobody has to feel weird and no boundaries were crossed! You’re welcome!
The Take Away
For the most part, women are just checking out the inventory then swiping when they see something that peaks their interest just like you are. After that, they are just trying to sniff out the nonsense. Think of your page the way you would a 30 second elevator pitch and you are the product. Once she’s agreed to break the ice by playing the game and it comes to your first initial point of contact, don’t be an idiot . It’s that simple. Be compelling, original and approachable. Worst case scenario, discuss your answers from the ice breaker questions. That’s why we created it in the first place, to help everyone out and take the pressure off! Be yourself and have some fun with this dating adventure you’re on instead of stressing out! Everyone is so caught up in creating this perfect online fake image and people are losing their capacity to have real engagement with real people. Truth be told, if you aren’t real and honest you’re only hurting yourself. While it may work for a short period of time, and may even help you get laid here and there, you will eventually get found out! Unfortunately for you, it will probably be by a great girl that you wish never got away too! So its pretty much up to you! If you’re not looking to settle down, say it! I promise there are plenty of women looking for the same thing.
At the end of the day when it comes to online dating the ratio boils down to this. Only 10% of it is about YOU, the other 90% is the message you are sending regarding who you are and what you’re about. So do yourself, and the girl your searching for a BIG favor. Be unapologetically your best and most honest YOU! I promise, she’s out there and she’s been looking for you her entire life!
Until next time…..
THE BIG SISTER YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD
PLAYDATE COLUMNIST & PROFESSIONAL TECHNOLOGY MIDWIFE
Marla is everyones “knows too much” big sister. You know the one that you go to for no nonsense, straight shooting advice. This is the big sister who tells you exactly what you need to hear – not what you want to hear.